Title: Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar

From: 31A

Date: 11/18/2010

Decision: Accept with minor revisions

Dear Author,

Congratulations! We have decided to accept your manuscript to be published on Commonplace with minor revisions. The case you made that men should have more say in regards to abortion was persuasive and well supported. It adequately fulfils the three requirements of Commonplace since it is timely, relevant and compelling. One reviewer remarks “the argument is timely because this is an ongoing issue that mostly pertains to young adults”. Your refreshingly unique viewpoint on abortion makes the manuscript compelling to the Commonplace audience.

One of the best aspects to your manuscript is your conversational and headstrong tone. It helps you, as the author, to build a relationship with your audience. As a result, your manuscript is easy and interesting to read. For example in the last paragraph you state, “Men, you must challenge the government to live up to the word of our founding fathers. The quote is not ‘all men are created equal sometimes’ or ‘all men are created equal depending on what the issue is,’ but instead, ‘all men are created equal’. That is the bottom line, period.” Your directness mixed with your slight sarcasm makes your point difficult to ignore.

Although there are many good aspects to your manuscript, there are some possible improvements that could be made. We suggest that you are consistent with the language you use. You use formal syntax in the beginning of your paper, while towards the end of the manuscript the word choice becomes much more relaxed and casual. For example in the second paragraph you ask, “Therefore, why is it that the women has the only say in the unborn child’s destiny? And by determining the outcome of the fetus’s life, she then gains control of her partner’s life and liberty” while in the fourth paragraph you state, “…but she tells you between kisses that everything will be okay cause she has been tested and is also on birth control”. These two examples show a dramatic contrast in style. Formal words such as “therefore” do not flow with informal words such as “cause”. We suggest you choose between the two writing styles and use it throughout your entire manuscript.

Lastly, we think that your title could be modified to something that better captures the essence of your manuscript. Though “Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar” may be a striking title, it is not very relevant to your larger argument.

Once again, we would like to commend you for your dedication and efforts on this manuscript. It is obvious that you have spent a great amount of time piecing it together and polishing it to create a very compelling argument. Thank you again for submitting your manuscript to Commonplace. Best of luck.

Sincerely,

31A

Best group ever!!!

Title: Thomas Jefferson is a Liar
From: 31A
Date:11/18/2010
Decision: Revise and Resubmit


Dear Author,
We greatly appreciate the opportunity to review your manuscript, “Thomas Jefferson is a Liar.” You argue that men should have equal say in whether a baby that they fathered should be born or not. As evidence, you provide examples from Dr. Author Shostak, a Professor of Sociology at Drexel University, ad well as quotes from the Declaration of Independence. Although the topic you chose and the argument you make fulfills the timely, relevant, and compelling requirement, we cannot recommend your manuscript for several reasons:
1. We feel that the most important and apparent reason for our decision is the tone you use in your manuscript. You alienate youre audience throughout your paper, instantly erasing half of the possible audience. Women would most likely stop reading by the beginning of the second paragraph because of your aggressive argument towards them. Some of youre points are undoubtedly valid, however the way you present them in many cases seems offensive towards women rather than constructive. For instance, the sarcastic manner in which you discuss how a woman is inpregnated is inappropriate because you downplay the intelligence of the entire gender of women by assuming that they are unaware it takes a male and female to procreate. We recommend that you rephrase instances like this, perhaps saying something like “It is a known fact that it takes both a male sperm and female egg to create human life, so why is it that only the female gets a say on whether an unborn child lives or dies?” Similarly, in the situation you depict in which a male picks up a female and they have unprotected sex, you make sure to tell of how the woman assured the male that everything would be ok and she was on birth control. If you want to keep this argument, we would recommend not blaming the situation on the deciet of the female saying she was on birth control but rather stating that the birth control somehow failed. That is a much less offensive way to give a possible situation.
2. Though the evidence you include about the study done is effective, it is not enough to support your entire argument. We recommend finding more studies done and more evidence that there are long term effects of men not getting an equal choice on whether a baby is born or not. For instance, include how young, unmarried parents struggle to support the child. This would be extremely effective because we feel people will show a lot more compassion for your argument if the well-being of the child is considered. Finally, make sure you include situations that aren’t just casual sex. We thought that a rape victim would be an obvious situation in which youre argument does not apply.
Though we gave you many suggestions about youre manuscript, we feel that you do present some pretty good points that have strong evidence supporting them. You take a very unique stance on the issue and that makes it extremely compelling. If you revise some of these issues and resubmit we feel you would have a much better chance of being published on Commonplace.

Title: Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar
From: xxxxx
Date: 11/18/10
Decision: Accept With Minor Revisions

Dear Author:
Thank you very much for letting our group review your commonplace manuscript, “Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar”. We think that your manuscript is timely, compelling, and relevant. We all enjoyed reading your manuscript from the entertainment factor that your paper has.

Structure: It is quite good, except for a few exceptions. The title we think is inappropriate for what your paper is trying to convey. Although rights that this former politian have stated are affiliated with the message of your manuscript, a more fitting title such as “Abortion From The Male’s Perspective” would be more appropriate. You can, however, still use the opening paragraph argument because it ties so well into the general consensus of your paper. In addition, the use of the retorical questions in the second paragraph are very effective in supporting your claim. The retorical question “Therefore, why is it that the woiman has the only say in the unborn child’s destiny?”. We believe that you should keep these types of questions in your paper for accomplishing your message.

Content: The content is very strong in most areas, weak in other areas. Sentence stucture and slang do not need to be in the content, unless you are quoting someone. Some of the detail in the fourth paragraph is unnecessary and slang based. Saying the phrase “laughing it up” is not a great way of getting your message across in this particular manuscript. The content other than this aspect is spectacular. The idea of seeing abortion through a man’s perspective is quite compelling and interesting. Few people dare to venture into the “waters” of this subject, especially from a man’s perspective.

Style: The style of this paper is great. Other than the fourth paragraph, the essay flows quite nicely. I think that the opening paragraph ties great into the rest of the paper. The reflection at the end of the paper is also well done. It is also quite nice to read an essay that uses a “college” vocabulary effectively in order to appeal more to a college audience.

Again, this is a very interesting and compelling manuscript. We hope that you can use these suggestions as a basis to make your paper even better than before!
Sincerely,
xxxxx

Step Four: A Peer Review

Title: Thomas Jefferson is a Liar

Date: 11/18/2010

Decision: Revise and Resubmit

Dear Author:

After surveying the work that you submitted, we have found many timely, relevant, and compelling issues within its context. Although we find the issue at hand to be a controversial (and thus very relevant and compelling), we feel as if the argument that you are presenting has some minor flaws and that resubmission of the essay would benefit you as a Commonplace writer.

1. We enjoyed how you linked Thomas Jefferson and the American Declaration of Independence’s claim to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” We feel as if it brings a unique perspective toward a controversial issue. However, we have found some discrepancies in the presentation of this argument throughout the essay. For example, in the first paragraph, you quoted “When it comes to abortion, men are not equal and they have no rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” ; in the fourth paragraph where you describe the party scenario, however, the absolute words such as “not equal” and “no rights” change into words such as “limited” and “questionable.” Solidifying this counter-argument further and using it to help your main purpose will help make the work more convincing to your audience and in turn, make it more relevant.

2. Throughout the essay, we felt as if the tone was very strongly pro-male and seemed to be accusatory in nature. Make sure you take into account the other side of the argument. For example: What about the woman who is carrying the child? Are all men really responsible? Showing knowledge of the other side of the argument will increase your ethos and make the work more compelling for the whole Commonplace audience.

Even with these structural and sentence revisions and suggestions, we feel as if the essay as a whole is a good essay, but with revising and reviewing, it can be a great essay. By revising the tone and the central argument of the essay, you can make it more timely, relevant, and compelling.

Sincerely,

{Peer Review Group}

Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar Group Memo

Title: Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar
Date: 11/18/10
Decision: Revise and Resubmit

Dear Author:

Many thanks for the chance to review your manuscript, “Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar.” You argue that men don’t have any say in abortion and “when it comes to abortion, men are not equal and they have no rights to life, liberty, and/or the pursuit of happiness.” Although your argument is timely and deals with a pressing issue, we cannot recommend your manuscript for the following reasons:

1. Most importantly we have a concern with your tone throughout the manuscript and believe it is not tone-appropriate. In your manuscript you wrote, “so why let the government and women steal your right away as the father of the unborn and not having a say?” Instead of alienating women and the government, expand on your previous sentence where you labeled the men as “responsible” and implore them to take charge of the situation as opposed to defaming women. Doing this would make your tone more appropriate because it would change your tone from anti-women to pro-men.

2. One of the potential strong suits of your essay is its informal nature. Therefore we believe you should decide to keep the manuscript either completely informal or formal throughout. For instance you jump from an entirely formal first paragraph to a more informal second paragraph. The syntax and usage of rhetorical questions like “is it that two people lay down, roll around, and magically the women gets pregnant?” create an informal tone. Furthermore your usages of such vernacular like “hmmm” and “cause” may detract from your overall credibility.

Sincerely,
31A

Revise and Resubmit

Title: Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar
Date: 11/18/2010
Decision: Revise and Resubmit

Dear Author:

The three of us take your argument as how men should have as much decision as a woman has when it comes to abortion. You provided logical evidence like how a woman becomes pregnant only when her egg is met by a man's sperm which causes "high level of anxiety and stress" for a man (those who had no say) after engaging in an abortion. There is also the hypothetical but very common scenario of a man and woman hooking up in a bar along with the events that follow. Your essay is definitely on the track of becoming published, but the main thing holding it back is lack of a better execution. Here's why:

1. Makes a compelling argument and provides good relevance. How a woman's egg is met by a man's sperm is unarguable, and no one can disagree with how there's two people involved. Your tone itself makes the essay conversational, easy to follow, and compelling.

2. We all thought the title was irrelevant towards the essay as a whole, tricking us much like an infomerical on television. Thomas Jefferson did not fit into the essay; he only played a role in the first paragraph. Did he really mean to lie to us?

It was a very interesting point of view, however, we just feel you need to work on solidifying your argument, such as explaining how we can challenge it. We hope you use some of these suggestions to strengthen your argument in your manuscript where it can hopefully be chosen as a commonplace example. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Your conscience

Using the "Comments" button, post the titles of the three Commonplace articles you read, before November 04, 2010 (Thursday).

Week Five: Blog Project- Global Warming

We chose to focus on Global Warming as our disaster, and while Global Warming is not a disaster in and of itself, it has vast potential to become one. The blog we chose can be found here, http://globalwarmingwatch.blogspot.com/. Throughout the course of the blog, the author evokes the idea that global warming is getting progressively worse, and brings up numerous points to try to show that the odds of global warming being human caused are getting higher and higher. He goes further and brings up what is currently being done to combat the problem, and what needs to be done in the future.

Featured Articles
"How climate denial really works," "How climate denial really works part 2," "Our problem is climate change is not our problem."

http://globalwarmingwatch.blogspot.com/2010/03/our-problem-is-climate-change-is-not.html http://globalwarmingwatch.blogspot.com/2010/03/how-climate-denial-really-works-2-50-of.html
http://globalwarmingwatch.blogspot.com/2010/03/how-climate-denial-really-works.html

How we create global warming is one problem, but whether we believe we humans are the cause or not is the bigger disaster. Before we can figure out a way together to put a stop to the gradual heating of the planet, we must all agree on what the causes actually are, natural or man-made ones. The blog author believes global warming is man-made, and in these posts he explains how denialists (those who believe global warming is a natural occurrence) come to be denialists because of the news media. Another problem the author states is our lack of proactiveness. Global warming will not be a major disaster until much later, but because the “urgent always trumps the long term,” it will be too late if no effective actions are taken now.

"The 90% chance we cause observed global warming now sits at 95%"

http://globalwarmingwatch.blogspot.com/2010/03/90-chance-we-cause-observed-global.html

This featured article discusses the recent changes in observed global warming that have led the percent likelihood that it's been caused by humans to increase from 90 to 95%. Edinburgh University determined that the initial study underestimated man's effect, for now our reach has spread even to Antarctica. Based on this evidence, it would be very hard for anyone to say that global warming was natural, and if the information we have is correct, Global warming is on pace to become a great disaster.
Based on the paragraph, it's said that there is increasing evidence in reports pointing that global warming is very likely man-made, and some of the scientists from different institutions suggest the percentage taken in natural variation in climate change has lessened and is not the major influence of global wariming. The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) states there is an increasing body of observations which give a collective notion of a warming world and other changes in the climate system and the new and stronger evidence is that most of the observed warming is attributable to human activities based on the scientific papers the panel had access to.
In order to obtain this information, more than 100 scientific papers were accessed, of which a vast majority cited evidence which pointed to human involvemnet in the recent climate changes. Such human influence has led to changes in the Arctic which has led to a shrinking of the Arctic Sea ice at a rate of 600,000 sq. km per decade. The only dissent in this belief is that disasters such as Hurricane Katrina have been falsely blamed on man's involvement.

"Emissions down, interest up: Banking on a carbon neutral future"
http://globalwarmingwatch.blogspot.com/2010/09/emissions-down-my-interest-up-carbon.html

This post is an overview of the actions one bank (NAB) has taken to reduce their carbon footprints in an effort to cut emissions, and save energy. With the ever prevailing threat of global warming top 200 CEOs are making carbon neutral pledges such as switiching printers and photo copiers to print doublesided, cardboard boxes replacing paper waste baskets and installing communal recycle bins. All of these steps have resulted in a savings/reduction of 60K tons of greenhouse gas emissions per year. That fact in itself the author seemed impressed with concluding "They are a bank of the future." Overall, Australia is taking a step in the right direction to prevent the ever present doom and gloom of global warming.




Conclusion
The articles we selected above illustrate what we feel to be the best summary of the author's perspective on global warming. As the blog progressed, the author shifted from the realization of the current issue, to what the public is doing in an attempt to halt the spread of global warming. Despite global warming's lack of urgency, this blog reiterates the vast potential which global warming possesses to become a full blown disaster.



Writting by Ryan Yusuf, Ryan Welty, Adrienne Bradley, Hsin Ying Wu

After the terrorist attack of 9/11, Americans’ perception altered to form a new era of American pop culture and changed the public’s perspective of disaster, giving the public an actual event as a reference point between real life and fictional disasters.

The general audience could include any American that was personally affected by the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Americans share a special bond with the event in a sense that everyone felt the same way when the news came about. The feeling was a uniform fear of terrorism. Shortly after this feeling, though, an up rise of hope and determination to fight terrorism was established, sending a shock wave of patriotism across the United States. With this patriotism, we were able to move forward from this tragedy and engage terrorism at its core.

The poster is effective because it relates to the audience through symbolic figures of patriotism. The statue of liberty takes up the largest portion of the poster and it displays the freedom of the United States. The audience can relate to the poster because everyone knows what the statue of liberty is and knows the message that comes along with the structure. Analytically, we can infer that the location of the poster is New York City, the place of the terrorist attacks because of the World Trade Centers in the background. A plane is shown, along with a message that explains that it is the only plane that did not reach its destination along with the other planes. People know of this plane, the American citizens on board caused the plane to land away from its intended target and only caused the citizens on board to pass away.
Nate, Dan, Pete

United 93 Thesis and Audience

Despite the controversial nature of thematic disaster movies, such as United 93, the infusion of such disaster into Hollywood blockbusters depicts the American public’s desire to indulge in the disaster represented on the big screen.

The intended audience would be the American public. Within the scope of the American public are Americans who are drawn to this disaster genre as well as Americans who want to satiate their appetite for disaster; in this case the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

Madeline, Huihong Chen, Ryan

United 93: Duane', Adrienne, Ferris

1. Tragedy and terror against the United States inspires a dramatic increase in patriotism via unification of the general public because there is no social boundary in disaster.

2. The intended audience might consist of the everyday and average American who cares about the economic state and reputation of their country. The intended audience would not consist of someone who is indifferent about the state of their country and who disregards and lacks patriotism as a whole.

By Hsin Ying, Bonnie, Ryan and Syn Dee

Thesis:

Disaster movies after the 9/11 incident were no longer blithe because Americans were more experienced with real-life disasters. Movies are now made to connect with the solemn feelings of the American people through a more realistic perspective via fictional disasters on the screen.

Audience

The intended audience is American public who have been or have not been exposed to the 9/11 incident, as well as people who are familiar with previous disaster movies.

United 93: Thesis by Jordan, Dallas, and Corey

Unlike fictional disaster movies of the post-9/11 era which focus mainly on apocalyptic, sensationalistic disasters, non-fictional movies portray peoples' renewed patriotism and their struggle for freedom in the face of insurmountable resistance, which reflects the attitudes of the American people following the tragedies of September 11, 2001.

The movie United 93 targets Americans who have forgotten about the fourth plane that crashed during the tragedies of September 11^th. This fourth plane is a symbol of resistance and the traditional American value of courage. However, Americans often forget about the United 93 flight because of the focus on the collapse of the two World Trade Center towers in New York City and the attack on the Pentagon in Washington D.C.

United 93 by Kyle Witham, Nicole Lefton, and Jina Yu

Thesis:
The emphasis on the englarged Statue of Liberty in the movie poster of United 93, which alludes to America's history of welcoming immigration, portrays a direct contrast to the way 9/11 triggered foreign paranoia.

A possible intended audience for the movie poster of United 93 may be patriotic Americans that would be intrigued by the focus on the Statue of Liberty. These people might be interested in the events of 9/11 because it openly relates to America and its sense of security and pride. The movie poster also has an educational appeal. In the subtitle, it states "Four planes were hijacked, three of them reached their target... This is the story of the fourth." This subtitle is probably intended to draw in audiences that are curious to learn what they do not know about the disaster of 9/11.

Class Exercise for October 21, 2010 (Thursday)

In groups of three (2 groups may have four people) -

Primary source (click on the picture to zoom in) -

Secondary source -

Feil, Ken. “From Camp to Kitsch: 9/11, Taste, and the Imagination of Disaster.” Dying for a Laugh: Disaster Movies and the Camp Imagination. Middletown, CT: Wesleylan UP, 2006. Print. 119-141.

Using the movie poster from United 93 as your primary source and a chapter from Ken Feil's Dying for a Laugh: Disaster Movies and the Camp Imagination (which was assigned as a thematic reading two weeks ago), develop a complex thesis statement.

*Juicy hint from the good work you did in class two weeks ago: If you look in the earlier post we did during the class discussion (under the Comments button), you'll find your summaries of the pitch of the argument in Feil's article, to give you a brief sense of what the main points in his article were. Be sure to identify the right summary because each group posted their summaries of both articles that were assigned in the thematic readings.

As you work on developing your complex thesis statement, be sure to avoid the pitfalls of the five kinds of weak thesis statements described in Writing Analytically. Each group is to post their thesis statement with all group members' names as a "New Post" on the blog.

Discuss to whom the message (in the primary source) is conveyed.
Speculate about the effectiveness of this message, using analytical claims (i.e. for the claims you make, refer to elements in the primary source to support your argument; always link claim-----evidence) as well as arguments in your secondary source to support your claims about the effectiveness of the primary source.


TASKS:

1. In groups of 3 (two groups may have 4 people), post a well-developed, complex thesis statement (that avoids the pitfalls of the five weak thesis statements).
2. Write one short paragraph to identify whom the intended audience might be.
3. In one sizable paragraph, speculate about the effectiveness of this message (in the primary source) to the intended audience you identified in part 2.
   
   
4. As a group, comment on one other thesis statement in the class (I will assign the groups).
   Using the "Comments" button:
   - Identify if it is in danger of falling within one of the five types of weak thesis statements.
   - Point to one great thing about the thesis statement (is it particularly compelling and how so, etc.)
   - Identify one way in which your group thinks the thesis statement might be improved OR suggest one way in which a student with that thesis statement might introduce complicating evidence to develop a complex and compelling paper.

Blog Project Week Four: Trapped Miners in Chile

We chose to write about the trapped miners in Chile because it is a very current issue being discussed in the news. This event is an example of a disaster because 33 people were buried alive for 69 days. However, it is a miracle that all of these people were able to come out alive it is still terrible what these people had to go through. Additionally, this event is something that has affected the country of Chile, the miners that suffered from this traumatic experience and other miners around the world.
The blog can be found at this link http://trapped-miners-in-chili.blogspot.com/

Summary

Trapped Minors in Chile is a blog that contains a collection of articles about the disaster. Many of the articles that can be found on this site are from reliable sources such as CNN, New York Times and Fox News. The author of the blog adds her own thoughts to the articles she shares with readers. The articles that are provided on the blog give daily updates on the current situation. The blog originated when the trapped miners were discovered and continues through today with updates how the aftermath is being handled.

Featured Articles

http://trapped-miners-in-chili.blogspot.com/2010/08/story-of-one-chili-mine-disaster-family.html

This article was featured on Yahoo News at the end of August, just when the collapse was discovered. The article discusses how Chile has been through several hardships over the past few months. They recently experienced an earthquake and a tsunami. It is said that there were known problems with the mine, but they were just ignored. The country had other things to deal with such as rebuilding the destroyed country and did not have time to worry about another possible disaster occurring. This article is told through a story of a family in Chile. The family explains that they felt so blessed for being able to survive the earthquake and the tsunami. They were not ready to be hit by another disaster when the husband and father was trapped in the mine for 69 days. The article shares the story of this family and how they survived three disasters, but focuses on the mining incident.

http://trapped-miners-in-chili.blogspot.com/2010_09_14_archive.html

This article, from an British news site, was written in mid September. It gives an update on the situation. More specifically it shares how the miners are expected to be evacuated. A technical team from Chile's Army created a steel rescue cage that is only 21 inches in diameter. The capsule is protected by a roof to keep miners safe from falling rock and debris. This is a very small capsule for people to fit into, especially men. It becomes a safety hazard for the miners. Although it is a good idea, it makes some people unsure if everyone will be able to get out safely.

http://trapped-miners-in-chili.blogspot.com/2010/10/first-miner-florencio-avalos-reaches.html

This article was featured on CNN on September 12, 2010. This was written on the day that the first miner reached the surface after safely coming out of the mine. The first man out was Florencio Avalos, he was surprisingly good condition considering everything he had gone through. When he came out of the mine on September 12th, it was the first time he had been above ground in 69 days. After he was removed from the mine he was taken to a hospital in Chile to make sure he was safe and healthy. Shortly after he came out with the help of the steel rescue cage the other 32 men were also rescued. Everyone who was trapped in the mine survived which is truly a miracle.

Conclusion

The disaster that occurred in Chile is devastating. It would be terrible to happen anywhere in the world but with Chile currently being destroyed this incident is even more disastrous. Although this was a terrible thing that happened we are very fortunate that everyone was able to survive. It is a shame that Chile did not look into the safety of mines earlier, but now they know that they are dangerous and the regulations need to be updated.

Overall, we really enjoyed this blog. It was easy to follow and find current information about this particular event. We also liked that his blog followed the event with daily updates with new information. Additionally, the comments that the author posted were very interesting. Her comments made us think about different aspects of this disaster more in depth. Now that the men have been rescued from the mine, on the blog, we would like to hear about how the men are doing and how they will be compensated for what they have gone through.

By: Nicole Lefton and Bonnie Ha

Group: Nicole Lefton, Bonnie Ha, Ferris Wu and Huihong Chen

Blog Project III: Hurricane Katrina Insight

We decided to focus this week's attention on Hurricane Katrina. The blog selected for this week is "Deadly Katrina" which tracked the aftermath caused by the hurricane shortly after the event. "Deadly Katrina" can be accessed via this web address: http://deadlykatrina.com/

Overview of the Blog

"Deadly Katrina" is a collection of articles obtained from various well-known news centers such as CNN or NBC. Unfortunately, some of these articles have disappeared over time only leaving a few readings left. However, the ones that are left provide a very insightful take on the disaster. The aspect that draws the most viewers for this site is the wide variety on the different articles posted. None of the stories are the same, which makes it refreshing and keeps the reader engaged as well. This made it the prime candidate to be featured as this week's blog.

Featured Articles

"Sean Penn accuses Bush of "criminal negligence""
http://www.deadlykatrina.com/?p=115

This post talks about the experiences of the Oscar winning actor Sean Penn in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Sean Penn went to New Orleans to help out as many people as he could. Sean said that everyone around him seemed to be suffering or dying. In addition, he also comments that in the days that he was there, he saw only three government boats. He claims that President Bush has committed “criminal negligence”. Additionally, the policemen were incredibly degrading to the general populous according to Ged Scott another man featured in the article. This article provides a very different view of the disaster. People of higher status usually do not get involved in such projects and Penn's experiences gives us another lens to look through.

"Horrific Stories of Rapes, killings and Terror"
http://www.deadlykatrina.com/?p=102

In this post, the blog tells about the atrocities of Hurricane Katrina through accounts of rape and murder. Since police and all other forms of law enforcement were absent, criminals could commit virtually any crime without any sort of punishment. Many accounts of rape and murder involve law enforcement, but the police officers do not act upon protocol. This blog post describes the terrors that those in and around New Orleans faced daily which makes it easier to relate to the desperation of those in city.

"Somebody's coming to get ya"
http://www.deadlykatrina.com/?p=111

This post features a tragedy event that happened after Hurricane Katrina in which a woman died of drowning because the promised rescue did not arrive on time. It was also mentioned that many people died during the aftermath of Katrina Hurricane due to the delay of rescue. This post shows the significance of the aftermath actions after a disaster. If the aftermath rescue is conducted properly and effectively, it will greatly reduce the number of victims in a disaster. This article shows the importance to performing rescue operations quickly and efficiently.

Conclusion

The aftermath of Hurricane Katrina is devastating. This blog does a great job in portraying what the people of Louisiana went through as a result of a true disaster. What made Hurricane Katrina one of the largest disasters the world had ever seen was the lack of help from the American government. Acting upon the wreckage that Hurricane Katrina left behind came way too late for some people. It also prolonged the suffering of the inhabitants of New Orleans a few days later than it could have been.

However, there is also a problem with the blog itself. Most of the articles that are featured seem to be very anti-government. There are none or barely any that actually tries to back up the government during the situation. Another problem with the blog is that due to it not being updated in such a long time (the 'newest' article is from September 10th, 2005) which means many of the featured posts have disappeared. Which makes it difficult to get the full story just from this single blog.

Looking at a blog talking about an event that happens many years ago truly make one see how life changing it really was. It destroyed homes, tore families apart and lowered the morale of the people living there. The articles on the aftermath only builds upon our perception of this event. It provides for a very frightening but dare we say insightful read.

*****

We would encourage everyone not only to read the posts that we summarized but to read the other posts as well. We would like to get your input on this tragedy as well by commenting on this week's blog.


Written by: Dan, Kyle, Nate, and Peter

Class Exercise for October 7, 2010 (Thursday)

I. There are three parts to our class exercise today:

a. Identify the central arguments in both thematic readings. Articulate these in complete sentences using both the tools of quotation and paraphrase, making sure that you identify the source clearly when you quote/paraphrase. Produce at least two sizable paragraphs (one for each source) that identify their central arguments.

b. (See p. 223 of Writing Analytically) As a group, select one argument that you would like to develop further and cite it in its entirety. As the authors of Writing Analytically advice, “if you are citing a source to frame the discussion, the more reasonable move is both to agree and disagree with it. First, identify shared premises; give the source some credit. Then distinguish the part of what you have cited that you intend to develop or complicate or dispute” (Rosenwasser and Stephen 223). Produce a sizable paragraph developing your argument.
*Post your writing to the class blog as a "New Post" for part b., including the names of all your group members.

c. Using the movie poster from Aftershock, discuss how you would use arguments from either or both of these secondary sources as a lens for analyzing the image. One sizable paragraph.

Class Exercise - part a.

a. Identify the central arguments in both thematic readings. Articulate these in complete sentences using both the tools of quotation and paraphrase, making sure that you identify the source clearly when you quote/paraphrase. Produce at least two sizable paragraphs (one for each source) that identify their central arguments.

Post your arguments using the "Comments" button and remember to include the names of all your group members.

Class Exercise - part c.

c. Using the movie poster from Aftershock, discuss how you would use arguments from either or both of these secondary sources as a lens for analyzing the image. One sizable paragraph.

Post your group response using the "Comments" function and remember to include the names of all your group members.

Blog Project Week II : Haiti through the Lens

Our group has chosen to focus on the 2010 Haiti earthquake and to take a closer look at the effects on the local community in Haiti as well as an American's perspective on the devastating event.

The featured blog here is called "Haiti Earthquake Stories" and can be accessed by clicking HERE.

About the Blog
The blog author is James Lea, a freelance photo/video journalist from the USA.
His goal in writing his blog is to inform his readers of the conditions of Haiti, post-disaster, as well as of the efforts of volunteers who have generously sacrificed their time in giving aid.
(Refer to his introduction *here*)

Featured Posts
BRINGING HAITI ORPHANS TO THE US  *Click here to get to post*
This post talks about how the Haiti disaster did not only affect people in the local Haitian community but it also changed the lives of some Americans. People in America offered help, not only by providing physical aid e.g. rations and donations, but also by adopting Haitian orphans. This shows us how disasters have positive outcomes to it, especially after disaster relief efforts are carried out.


AN INTENSE DETERMINATION TO SURVIVE *Click here to get to post*
In this post, the author gives a different perspective about the situation by sharing the experiences of the Haitian people instead of merely reporting facts. He is playing the role of a journalist while also grabbing the audiences' attention through a more casual way of describing the effects of the disaster on the people.  

VIDEO STORY *Click here to get to post*
As the saying goes, "seeing is believing". Apart from merely writing about the earthquake's aftermath, the author has also posted visual representations of the effects of the disaster. Though reading about the situation in Haiti is helpful, people are more likely to be impacted by seeing through photo or video evidence what exactly is going on. The video demonstrates the aid provided to the victims, especially medical aid, and gives documentation to the things that relief workers and medical personnel are actually doing to offer their help to those in need.

Conclusion
This journalist uses a blog as his resource to effectively get word out about the Haiti disaster. His role in the media is important because he is able to inform people of what is actually happening there, and by posting stories and videos of victims, survivors and relief workers, his readers are able to truly grasp the situation through his in-depth and first-hand, personal experience. On top of that, his being a journalist gives him credibility. This makes his reports and stories more believable to most readers.


However, his posts do have their downsides. They are pretty much from an American's point-of-view, so it doesn't tell us what and how other countries are doing to help Haiti in its time of need. This demonstrates that, as always, media can be biased. So, readers have to be cautious and get more information from more than one source to get the full story.

Taking a closer look at Haiti in its current state, it is clear just how big of a toll the earthquake took on this country, not only in the initial disaster, but even more in the aftermath.

******

We encourage you to explore the other posts in the featured blog, construct your own opinion of it and the Haiti earthquake, and give us your input via the comment box to further facilitate discussion.

Written by Dallas, Jina, Jordan, and Syn Dee

TornadoVideos.net: Extreme Storm Chasing

Here, you will find TVN, a blog run by Reed Timmer, a meteorologist and "extreme storm chaser."

http://www.tornadovideos.net/

Reed Timmer is the star of The Discovery Channel's Storm Chasers. Storm chasing is a very dangerous but adrenaline-pumping thrill ride. In an attempt to better understand how thunderstorms and tornadoes form and function, Timmer and his team put themselves in the center of the mayhem. Their data and results are invaluable for the scientific community and for every day people who are in the paths of these deadly storms.

Independence Day Trailer

This is a trailer of the famous movie "Independence Day". This movie talks about a situation which aliens invade the earth. Unlike most of the alien invadtion movie, "Independence Day" has done a brillant job in illstruating how large the scale of the invasion is. In the movie, the aliens invasion begins with them blowing up the significant places on the Earth such as White House. This is the most remarkable sence of this movie in my opinion. It does not only show the purpose of the aliens, but also shows how advance their technology is and how much destruction they can cause on earth as well. Under such desparate situation, it is exciting to see how the human fights back to the aliens and secure their home.

Disaster---Storm Chasers

Scientist want to know better about the disaster, chasing storm is one of their choices. Through the assistance from media, peeple are able to understand the details about the research of disasters. These two videos are about some researchers who focus on close research of the storm in US. They built an armed car to avoid and resist the damage from storms. Even though it is a dangerous task, they still try their best to solve problems and defeat obstacles in the researches by risking their lives. In order to tell the world about their intention and raise patronage for further research, such a group of brave people contacted Discovery series to make and launch videos about their jobs. Here are the videos about their chases towards the storm in US.


Storm Chasers returns Sunday, Oct. 18th @ 10pm EP on Discovery!

Check out Reed's ten favorite twister encounters:

Sean and the TIV take a back road that nearly traps them in a massive tornado.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sNkZsHY0Mo&feature=rec-LGOUT-real_rn-2r-4-HM

Real Housewives series

Twister: The Next Super-Outbreak?

The preceding movie trailer is for the 1996 Steven Spielberg disaster thriller, Twister. The movie focuses around a team of Oklahoma meteorologists, led by Dr. Jo Harding (played by Helen Hunt) who are attempting to deploy an instrument named "Dorothy" into a tornado in hopes of designing a more advanced tornado warning system. When Dr. Bill Harding (Bill Paxton), the brains behind the Dorothy Project and former member of the team (and Jo's ex-husband) shows up to finalize the two's divorce, he sees the finalized Project, and only after encountering a rival storm-chasing team with a similar device headed by Dr. Jonas Miller (Cary Elwes), he decides to come back to the team to help them stake their claim to the first successful deployment of the Dorothy Project. The movie does a fine job of creating a real and not overly "Apocalyptic" feeling of a natural disaster, giving the viewers the thought, "Maybe this could happen to me!"

The movie, although simple in plot, touches heavily on a very realistic yet dire scenario: What were to happen if a tornado outbreak of such an epic magnitude were to strike a developed area? What sort of measures are being taken to prevent a large number of casualties in real life? Is a real-life "Dorothy Project" in place?

In the movie, Dr. Harding explains that the average time between a Tornado Warning and the arrival of the tornado is approximately three minutes, and that theoretically, with Dorothy's new information, the new system could increase the warning time five-fold. This is a staggering statistic, and although this story is purely fictional, steps must be taken in that direction in order to effectively increase warning time.

A real-life example of this worst-case scenario can be taken from the "Super Outbreak" of April 3-4, 1974. On the 4th, at approximately 3:30 pm, an F5 tornado leveled the city of Xenia, Ohio, and caused about 35 deaths. One can wonder if a more advanced warning system could have prevented those deaths. That can't be proven, however, until Dr. Bill Harding's "Dorothy Project" can become a reality.

2012 and Our Facination with the Unknown

2012 is one of the latest movies we have that talks about disasters and I guess this draws people in from the simple fact that we all have some sort of fear of the unknown. We want to know how characters survive the end of the world, how they overcome disasters happening to them and maybe even use their actions as a method - a reminder - for us to survive, in the event that a tragedy as depicted in the film actually happens.

Also, 2012 relates to people a lot simply because the year 2012 is merely two years from now and I think I can safely say that we all want to know if the end of the world will really come in two years time. Then, there is also the wordings that appear at the start of the trailer mentioning how "the Mayan calendar predicted it" which the film uses to further claim that it is indeed something that will happen.

On top of that, most people should be familiar with all the famous locations and landmarks that show up in the movie e.g. the Vatican, The Statue of Christ the Reedeemer in Rio, Times Square etc. and we all love to see the effects of disaster striking on these locations.

Facination with doomsday; with chaos, and life-threatening situations basically grabs people's attention.


- Syn Dee

Rampaging Monster

Cloverfield is the perfect example of a true disaster movie. The trailer entices the viewer with an unique presentation. The movie is filmed as though someone is carrying around a videocamera and is enjoying themself. However, an unknown monster attacks New York City and citizens run for their lives. The trailer especially caught my interest because the main characters are searching for loved ones and you feel their desperation. You form a bond with the characters through your short but miraculous glimpse. The fictional media inside of the movie also has no clue what is going on. It adds a realistic sense of terror to those who are watching the movie. It is a very well crafted trailer to get people to watch the movie and view the fate of the city's unfortunate citizens.

using media to criticize the outcome of media

i just thought it's brilliant.

Dogma Movie Trailer

This trailer/movie caught my attention because it uses humor to explain some religous beliefs. It's a disaster in the sense that it could offend millions, yet the spin used made the movie popular.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas Trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDuapYNd6OE

The movie The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is a ficitional movie that examines World War II and Hitler's quest for world domination through unconventional and disastrous methods. War is the prime example of a disaster because it affects a wide array of people and cultures. World War II had a worldwide impact and negatively affected most people of the countries who were involved. The attempted extermination of many groups of people, mostly those of Jewish ancestry, tore apart families and took the lives of many thousands of innocent people.

This movie, and its subject, are related to media because War is often associated with bias and miscommunication in the media. In this movie, the father of the young boy, who is a part of the Nazi army, tells his son that he does not need to worry about his work and that it is for a good cause for their country. This miscommunication is a result of the shame that the soldiers felt about what they did to innocent people for the sake of their own rise to power; they wished to make other people believe that what they were doing was for a good cause, when in reality they knew that it was unneccessary and brutal. Throughout the decades of wars that the world has experienced, most media outlets have resorted to lying and twisting stories of the war so that the people will fully support futher involvement.

Unfortunately, this is a continual cycle that the world cannot break and if it does not stop, war will continue to cause disaster around the globe.

Adventureland

This is an example of a post-disaster movie. The comedy and the slow-motion effects made the trailer interesting. It turned out to be a great movie.

The title 2012 itself excited me to see the movie. The trailer gives us a rough idea with a lot of details of how the whole exciting the movie is going to be. The trailer tells us about why it all started and how mankind is responsible for it. It conveys the whole theme of the movie that nature is not going to be quiet to all the abuse by mankind and we should act before this all really happens. The extensive use of computer animation to show the detailed effects on real life standing structures of today made me want to watch the movie more. At the end of the movie you realize that its time to act before it gets too late.

Titanic

I was in Elemantary School the first time I saw the trailer for "Titanic," although I never watched the entire movie until this past spring. I was encouraged to watch the movie by my friends because of the incredible love story between Jack and Rose, the two main characters. Honestly, I was enticed to watch this movie because of the emphasis on the love story rather than the disaster of the Titanic. Personally, I think this kind of disaster is more interesting because the viewer has the opportunity to learn about the lives and form connections with the characters before the disaster strikes. However, I was interested in using this trailer today because of an article I read yesterday about the real reason for the Titanic's crash and fatal ending. In summary, the article states that the tragedy could have been avoided if the captain had steered the wheel the opposite way. The article is very interesting, and you can find it at http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100922/lf_nm_life/us_britain_titanic_book.

The Day After Tomorrow

"The Day After Tomorrow" portrays disaster through rapid global warming and the fictional new ice age forming all over the globe. This trailer grabbed my attention because when it was released it was the first movie I can remember that focused on the effects of global warming, which at the time was not as well researched as it is today. Portraying a national disaster of such caliber in a movie not only draws media attention to the natural disaster at hand, in this case global warming, but it also allows the viewer to be educated on the issue at hand, which in itself can be a media disaster if the source is extremely slanted and biased. After seeing this movie several times I still find it fascinating because of all the technological ways the extreme weather is reported, researched, and applied. All of the examples of the extreme weather also grabbed my attention because they seemed so far out and unrealistic at the time, and even today I find it hard to grasp tornadoes destroying LA, a hailstorm destroying Tokyo, and a title wave the size of the Statue of Liberty hitting NYC.

Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg

At first I was instantly heartbroken when I read the headlines "Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg." Usually I would skip and not bother to watch something like this if it was anybody else, but this was Shawn Johnson, someone with talent which no one can compare to. I clicked on the video and gradually I learned that her whole death was a big lie.

The news was done by people called The Onion. Everything they report is all fake but all just for a good laugh, and it sure grabbed my attention right from the start.

28 Weeks Later Trailer

The movie "28 Weeks Later" is an excellent example of a movie that paints a vivid image of what it would be like if an apocalypse-bringing pandemic was released into a densely populated city. The trailer was very interesting and descriptive, drawing me in using words and video clips to describe how in the prequel movie "28 Days Later" the pandemic was quarantined and contained and in the second installment "28 Weeks Later", the city is beginning to be repopulated when the pandemic returns and shows a glimpse of what chaos a pandemic of that magnitude would cause. Using intense scenes of violence such as large-scale bombing and rabies-infected zombies chasing uninfected people, the preview was extremely enticing to me and made me want to see what happened and if the virus would be contained. The concept of a virus that could cause such chaos is scary but interesting to me because it does not seem out of the question, and I feel the preview to "28 Weeks Later" illustrates in great detail what society might become if something like this happened.

I Am Legend

The video I chose was a trailer from the 2007 movie, "I Am Legend". This movie represents disaster in many ways including the epidemic which wiped out the entire city, and the death of the main character's family. This trailer is effective and interesting because it does a good job of giving the viewer a good idea of the main character's pain and lonliness due to his abrupt isolation. I believe this trailer does an exceptional job of engaging the viewer and reeling them in to want to learn more about the journey which ensues.

I Am Legend Trailer

I am Legend is a prime example of an apocalyptic movie. I am Legend raises the question of what would happen if a new drug released to the public created a new disease. The disease is airbourne and turns humans into a horrific species and seems to effect everyone. However, there is one survivor, Will Smith, and he must live his life with no other humans. He lives in constant fear of the new species of humans and must grow his own food and in addition, his only companion is his dog that he had before the epidemic began. He does mundane activities everyday, including searching for a cure to the disease. It gives a great insight of how it truly feels to be alone and in constant fear.

El Viaje de Carol

Set in 1983 during a Spanish Civil War, El Viaje de Carol (Carol's Journey) tells an intertwined story of mass and personal tragedy through the eyes of a young Spanish American girl. Though the story begins with images and expressions of hope, the brutal and sneaky disaster that is the Spanish Civil War does not leave Carol unscathed. Her innocent eyes are made to witness lives unfairly taken and the remaining lives be ruled by fear and loss, her own included.

El Viaje de Carol is a story of a losing battle, heartbreaking injustice and the inevitable loss of innocence that comes with the unforgiving touches of war.

Movie trailer

Inception

In the movie Inception, someone's mind can be broken into. All of one's thoughts and ideas can be stolen. In the sense of personal privacy, this is a disaster; one can take private information as they please. The idea of someone being able to take your thoughts without your own consent is frightening and, if possible, can cause fear knowing that at any moment while they are asleep, their brains can be hacked into. Though dream inception or stealing is not yet possible today, the idea is not simply science fiction. Today, there is new ongoing technology that is going to be implemented in Mexico that can take your information with the scan of an eye. No matter where you go, there will be scanners that will scan an individual's eye and gain access to that person's information such as criminal record, credit card data, and other types of privacy related information. Will disaster result from accessing private information too easily?



Portoss Iris Scanner link: http://pinoytutorial.com/techtorial/portoss-iris-scanner-mexico-eye-scanner/

Class Blog

Disaster narratives make for powerful story-telling. This class blog will be an online forum for us to discuss and exchange ideas about representations of disaster in the mass media, including both fictional calamities as well as factual catastrophes in history. By analyzing the choices made by content producers in the way they frame disaster narratives, we will consider how mediated presentations of catastrophe affect us as audiences. Some research questions we can consider include: how do presentations of catastrophe in the mass media differ? How does such diversity of representation affect viewers or readers differently? How has tragedy been marketed (or even exploited) in contemporary culture? and so on.

Writing does not happen only in college papers and assignments, and research does not happen only in university libraries and science laboratories. The Class Blog Project offers you the chance to better understand blogging as a form of public writing as you join this online research community, which can give you invaluable insights when you begin to think about your Commonplace essays in Weeks 6 and 7. Engage in discussion with members of this community--your classmates and your instructor--and use this online forum as an open space where you can write about and think more deeply, critically, and reflectively about our course theme and your own research project.

You are welcome, at any time, to post any related links or information to our course theme on the class blog, or even to share a video link to your favorite disaster movie.