Revise and Resubmit

Title: Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar
Date: 11/18/2010
Decision: Revise and Resubmit

Dear Author:

The three of us take your argument as how men should have as much decision as a woman has when it comes to abortion. You provided logical evidence like how a woman becomes pregnant only when her egg is met by a man's sperm which causes "high level of anxiety and stress" for a man (those who had no say) after engaging in an abortion. There is also the hypothetical but very common scenario of a man and woman hooking up in a bar along with the events that follow. Your essay is definitely on the track of becoming published, but the main thing holding it back is lack of a better execution. Here's why:

1. Makes a compelling argument and provides good relevance. How a woman's egg is met by a man's sperm is unarguable, and no one can disagree with how there's two people involved. Your tone itself makes the essay conversational, easy to follow, and compelling.

2. We all thought the title was irrelevant towards the essay as a whole, tricking us much like an infomerical on television. Thomas Jefferson did not fit into the essay; he only played a role in the first paragraph. Did he really mean to lie to us?

It was a very interesting point of view, however, we just feel you need to work on solidifying your argument, such as explaining how we can challenge it. We hope you use some of these suggestions to strengthen your argument in your manuscript where it can hopefully be chosen as a commonplace example. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Your conscience