Title: Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar

From: 31A

Date: 11/18/2010

Decision: Accept with minor revisions

Dear Author,

Congratulations! We have decided to accept your manuscript to be published on Commonplace with minor revisions. The case you made that men should have more say in regards to abortion was persuasive and well supported. It adequately fulfils the three requirements of Commonplace since it is timely, relevant and compelling. One reviewer remarks “the argument is timely because this is an ongoing issue that mostly pertains to young adults”. Your refreshingly unique viewpoint on abortion makes the manuscript compelling to the Commonplace audience.

One of the best aspects to your manuscript is your conversational and headstrong tone. It helps you, as the author, to build a relationship with your audience. As a result, your manuscript is easy and interesting to read. For example in the last paragraph you state, “Men, you must challenge the government to live up to the word of our founding fathers. The quote is not ‘all men are created equal sometimes’ or ‘all men are created equal depending on what the issue is,’ but instead, ‘all men are created equal’. That is the bottom line, period.” Your directness mixed with your slight sarcasm makes your point difficult to ignore.

Although there are many good aspects to your manuscript, there are some possible improvements that could be made. We suggest that you are consistent with the language you use. You use formal syntax in the beginning of your paper, while towards the end of the manuscript the word choice becomes much more relaxed and casual. For example in the second paragraph you ask, “Therefore, why is it that the women has the only say in the unborn child’s destiny? And by determining the outcome of the fetus’s life, she then gains control of her partner’s life and liberty” while in the fourth paragraph you state, “…but she tells you between kisses that everything will be okay cause she has been tested and is also on birth control”. These two examples show a dramatic contrast in style. Formal words such as “therefore” do not flow with informal words such as “cause”. We suggest you choose between the two writing styles and use it throughout your entire manuscript.

Lastly, we think that your title could be modified to something that better captures the essence of your manuscript. Though “Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar” may be a striking title, it is not very relevant to your larger argument.

Once again, we would like to commend you for your dedication and efforts on this manuscript. It is obvious that you have spent a great amount of time piecing it together and polishing it to create a very compelling argument. Thank you again for submitting your manuscript to Commonplace. Best of luck.

Sincerely,

31A