Title: Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar
From: xxxxx
Date: 11/18/10
Decision: Accept With Minor Revisions

Dear Author:
Thank you very much for letting our group review your commonplace manuscript, “Thomas Jefferson Is a Liar”. We think that your manuscript is timely, compelling, and relevant. We all enjoyed reading your manuscript from the entertainment factor that your paper has.

Structure: It is quite good, except for a few exceptions. The title we think is inappropriate for what your paper is trying to convey. Although rights that this former politian have stated are affiliated with the message of your manuscript, a more fitting title such as “Abortion From The Male’s Perspective” would be more appropriate. You can, however, still use the opening paragraph argument because it ties so well into the general consensus of your paper. In addition, the use of the retorical questions in the second paragraph are very effective in supporting your claim. The retorical question “Therefore, why is it that the woiman has the only say in the unborn child’s destiny?”. We believe that you should keep these types of questions in your paper for accomplishing your message.

Content: The content is very strong in most areas, weak in other areas. Sentence stucture and slang do not need to be in the content, unless you are quoting someone. Some of the detail in the fourth paragraph is unnecessary and slang based. Saying the phrase “laughing it up” is not a great way of getting your message across in this particular manuscript. The content other than this aspect is spectacular. The idea of seeing abortion through a man’s perspective is quite compelling and interesting. Few people dare to venture into the “waters” of this subject, especially from a man’s perspective.

Style: The style of this paper is great. Other than the fourth paragraph, the essay flows quite nicely. I think that the opening paragraph ties great into the rest of the paper. The reflection at the end of the paper is also well done. It is also quite nice to read an essay that uses a “college” vocabulary effectively in order to appeal more to a college audience.

Again, this is a very interesting and compelling manuscript. We hope that you can use these suggestions as a basis to make your paper even better than before!
Sincerely,
xxxxx